Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Source (Google.com.pk)

 A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!" Police Officer A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!" Old Couple An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The old man says "I'll have the soup." Three Girlfriends Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me. All 3 wants to do something special so they set up some dates. Three days ago Doe kisses him. Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex. Yesterday, who sucks his dick? A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop" A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks 'No', the guy says, 'she's not that ugly' Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy. Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese. Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because their plugged into a genius! Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue. Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: Half a dog! Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis Q.When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? A.When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice Q:Why did Tigger look in the toilet? A:Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is? A: Ate something If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three feet of my cock up your ass. Q: What kind of bees produce milk? A: Boobies Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant. Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch. Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." Q; Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? A: They both suck for four quarters. Q; What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? A: The grass tickles their balls Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't? A: Her navel. Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back! Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken. Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A: When he eats his first Brownie. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass. Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck ? A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S. Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Q: What do u call a bunny with a bent dick? A: FUCKS FUNNY Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs.

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty

Funny Jokes Dirty