Sunday 22 June 2014

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Source (google.com.pk)
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Because they are used to eating nuts!
Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: Do you know what 6.9 is?
A: A good thing screwed up by a period.

Q: What do priests and McDonalds have in common?
A: They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns
Q: Why are Penises the lightest things in the world?
A: Even thoughts can raise them.
Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?
A: A Quarter Pounder with Cheese
Q: How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper!
Q: What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
A: Two Test-tickles
Q: What do a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Q: What does a perverted frog say?
A: Rubbit
Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower was coming.
Q: What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!
Q: What is the cheapest meat you can buy?
A: Deer balls. They're under a buck
Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually take the time to search for a golf ball
Q: Why will a woman never be the one to propose?
A: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.
Q: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A: One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
A: Are you going to eat that?
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.
Q: What did the sign on the door of the brothel say?
A: Beat it, we're closed
Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So fat women can get laid too
Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A: a PDF File
Q: What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: A Genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a Gynecologist looks up your family bush.
Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frog's finger
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A: A wet nose.
Q: What do you call an Italian hooker?
A: A Pasta-tute
Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand
Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
A: When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.
Q: What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?
A: They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes!

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles
Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: By the taste
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: Whats long hard and full of seamen?
A: A submarine
Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
A: You can drop them off anywhere.
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a promiscuous woman?
A: Tug-of-whore.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What do George Zimmerman, OJ Simpson and Masturbation have in common?
A: Getting off once isn't enough
Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
A: Good morning ladies.
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
A: Her navel.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68, at 69 you have to turn around.
Q: What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: What do the Mafia and a vagina have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally.
Q: What's better than roses on your piano?
A: Tulips on your organ.
Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: Why can't you hear a psychologist using the bathroom?
A: Because the 'p' is silent!
I nicknamed my dick "Coin Flip" because it's always getting either head or tail.

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

Jokes Dirty Short

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