Dirty Jokes for teenagers in Hindi on Girls in Hindi In Urdu Images in English Tumblr of the day: Dirty And Funny Jokes

Dirty And Funny Jokes

Source (Google.com.pk)

→ What do you think,

why I sms you?

Is it because I care you

I miss you?

I like you?

I need you?

Na…KAKa…Na

I’ve to utilize free sms package.

→ I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.

→ U R 100% beautiful,

U R 100% lovely,

U R 100% sweet,

U R 100% nice, and

U R 100% stupid to believe these words...

→ If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!

→ A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise

→ A B C D E F G H

I J K L M N O P

Q R S T U V W X

Y Z

1 missing in above

why are you reading again?

shame on you…!

In ABCD where comes 1.

→ If you say my eyes are beautiful it's because they're looking at you, for my eyes are just the windows my feelings come through.

→ Open with Love...

If I disturb U

I am Sorry!

But I need

To Say

I...

Love...

Disturbing you...

→ I think;

I should tell you

what people are saying behind your back

Nice Ass!!!!!!!

→ Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some1 to lean on, coz I'm the one u can always depend on!

→ Everybody wants

someone special

someone innocent

someone nice

someone cool

someone sweet

someone cute

someone intelligent

But why always ME, ME and ME..???

→ Why do U think I SMS u ?

Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?

Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...

I need a person for just time pass

→ BEAUTY TIP:

If you want to protect your face

from dust, sunrise and other such things,

then apply Master Paints exterior emulsion

with 7 years guarantee!

→ Best way to purpose a girl.

Take her to sea,

Say her to sit in a boat.

Then take the boat in the middle of sea.

Then say Marry Me

Leave My Boat.

→ Three types to break mirror:

1. Throw stone on mirror.

2. Take mirror and just drop it.

3. You just go and stand before the mirror and smile.

→ Think Big,

Think Smart,

Think Positive,

Think Beautiful,

just Stop?

It’s too long for you.

So, in short ” Just Think About Me”.

→ It's a test to check your capability of Mathematics

But you have 2 read this msg for only once.......

ok!

R u ready??

Here We Go....

2+7

-5

-2

-4

+12

-8

THE QUESTIONS:

How many Times Did u Press The Button

→ Hi, How are you…?

Are you free tomorrow..?

Can you come to me..?

Because tomorrow we are opening new

Mental Hospital

admission free, special offer for you.

→ When u feel lonely

and alone & cannot see any one around you,

the world seems to be fading away,

come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist!

→ Think Big,

Think Smart,

Think Positive,

Think Beautiful,

just Stop?

It’s too long for you.

So, in short ” Just Think About Me”.

→ In the morning I do not eat

because I think of you,

at noon I do not eat

because I think of you,

in the evening I do not eat

because I think of you,

at night I do not sleep

because I am hungry

→ whenever u feel sadness in your HEART,

blackness in your EYES,

paleness on your FACE,

fragrance in your body, it shows u are suffering lack of vitamin "ME".

→ Today, tomorrow and forever

there will be one heart

that would always beat for you.

You know whose?

Hey, your own stupid.

→ Puppy dog asked to mummy dog: Mummy who is my Father.Mummy: Baby, keep silence, don't disturb your Father, he is reading this SMS now.

→ I want to touch you all over again n again.

through my heart and feeling

→ Today is International Handsome Boys

and Beautiful Girls day!

So send this message to someone

who looks smart and cute…

Be true.. Don’t cheat like me

→ Whatever high the sky may be…..

Whatever wide the River may be….

Whatever green a tree may be…..

just Remember….

IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!

→ A - U r Attractive

B - U r the Best

C - U r Cute

D - U r Dear 2 Me

E - U r Excellent

F - U r Funny

G - U r Good-Looking

H - hehehe

I - I'm

J - JOKING

→ Please pray for me,

my condition is very serious.

I am getting day by day

M0re Cute

M0re good l0oking

L0vely and smart

and there is no cure of it

→ Never ever reject any girls in your life..!

Because,

A good girls gives you happiness.

and

Bad girls gives you experience!

→ From Monday to Sunday,

From January To December,

From birth till my death,

my feelings for you have never changed.

For me, you’ve always been……….. a headache !

→ 2days weather 4cast: it wud b cloudy if u frown, rainy if u cry, clear if ur happy, sunny if u smile & stormy if u sing!

→ difference between good girls

and very good girls.

Good girls open few buttons

when environment is hot.

Very good girls open all buttons

to make environment hot

→ Last night some Monkeys came running to my room.They wanted to trouble

good people... I suggested ur name.They said Oh!!!No we cant disturb our Boss...

→ Let us live!!!

Let us love!!!

Let us share

the deepest secrets of our souls!!!

You first.

→ This my most beautiful SMS for you

If you read you owe me a HUG,

If you delete you Owe me a kiss,

If you save you owe me a DATE,

If you return text message to me,

You OWE me All,

But if you ignore,

You are MINe!

So wat will You do?

→ Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u -

it's really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp

.... I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER

→ Today night I would like to

kiss you and bite you strongly.

Do you accept this waiting for your permission

yours lovingly Mosquito

→ Nice Kiss is on Head.

Sweet Kiss is on Cheeks.

Passionate Kiss is on Lips.

Romantic Kiss is on Neck

and

Seriously Hottest Kiss is on “IRON”

Try it now. Mmmmuah

→ Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.

→ I know you think I’m cute,

I know you think I’m gorgeous,

but like the other guys

take a number and wait in line!!

→ A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)

→ Always remember:

When a girl cancels a date

it is because She “Has To”

and

When a boy cancels a date

it si becasuse He “Has Two”

→ Love is an illusion!

Its a highly dependency disorder

of weak hearted people.

People with strong hearts

believe in FLIRTING :p

→ 1+1=2 eyes look at u...

12+12=24 hours thinking about u...

3+4=7 days in week missing u...

1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like U

I want to say a word to u !!

That starts with u

and ends on u

that truly defines u

that word is

“ULLU” …..

→ I believe that God above created you for me to love. He picked me

out from all the rest because he knew I”d love you the best!

→ One who somes, has a SMOKY heart,

One who drinks, has an ALCOHOLIC heart...

So dear U must STOP eating SWEETS...

as u r already a SWEETEHART!**

→ Boy1: Meet my wife Tina

Boy2: Oh! I know her

Boy1: How?

Boy2: We were caught sleeping together.

Boy1: What the hell!

Boy2: 10 years ago, during lecture in Maths class

→ If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

→ I think you are very careless!

Yo come & leave things behind!

See now what u have left?

You just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

→ The length & breadth & height of you,

total up to quite a view,

but to taste the true delight of you,

I”ll have to take a bite of you.

→ New style of proposing a girl.. "i hv spent many sleepless nights in ur Luv n i dont want my son 2 do d same 4 your daughter so lets mk them brother n sister.

→ I wrote your name on sand

it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,

it was blown away. then

I wrote your name on my heart

& i got Heart Attack.

→ I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

→ Government imposing new taxes.

Dating Rs.10,

Hug Rs.20,

Kiss Rs.30,

Love Rs.50.

But you don”t worry,

flirting is still free

→ U luk sweet when u read my message. U luk sweeter when u read my message & smile. U luk sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply. So, try to look sweetest.

→ Loading the Babe meter…..

17%

26%

57%

78%

99%

100% COMPLETE

Processing data..

ANALYSIS COMPLETE

You are a 100%

Gorgeous Babe XXX!

→ As days go by, my feelings get stronger,

To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.

Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,

Day & night my thoughts r of U.

→ Man asked to his wife:

Where do you want to go for our anniversary?

She said: Some where I have never been!

Man said: How about the kitchen?

→ I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.

→ Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins,the brain’s natural painkillers.

So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.

→ Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.

→ Life is pretty much unpredictable.

I may not live long enough but

I won’t miss out letting you know

That life is worth living with someone like you around.

→ Patient to dotor:

You’ve appointed nice nurse.

She take good care of patients.

doctor: Yes I heard,

When she slapped you.

→ Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!

→ L ======

O ======

V ======

E ======

L= loss of money.

o= out of mind.

v= vaste of time.

e= end of life.

So don’t LOVE.

Only pass your time.

→ I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

→ Advise of a dentist

Treat your girlfriend

like a tooth brush.

Don’t let anybody else use it

Changed it every 3 months.

→ Long ago, Men who sacrificed their

love, youth, parents, identity,

laughter and their happines

were called SAINTS!

Now they are called HUSBANDS!

→ Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!

→ Never ask for hug,

Just take it.

Never ask do you love me,

Just say I love you.

Never say I can’t live without you,

Just say I live for you.

You have been trained.

Now go and flirt

→ U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.

→ Cheap attitude of girls.

When a boy sends dirty sms.

She laughs for 10 minutes.

Forward that sms to her friends.

Then replies the boy

“I don’t like these kind of sms ok”

→ All I wanted was sumone 2 care 4 me. All I wanted was sumone who'd b there 4 me. All I ever wanted was sumone who'd b true. All I ever wanted was sum1 like u.

→ Arguing with girls, wife or ladies is like

wrestling with a Pig in mud.

After sometime you realise that you are getting dirty

& the pig is enjoying !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

→ Touch my heart & u’ll feel,

Listen to my heart & u’ll hear,

Look into my heart & u’ll see,

That u’ll always be a special part of me.

→ Flirting is the only job in the world,

that boys never include in their CV.

Despite having years of experiences

and number of references….:P