Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Source (google.com.pk)

 Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window? A: He wanted to see time fly. Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A: Because you can't drink and derive... Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? A: There, Their, They're Q: What's another name for Santa's elves? A: Subordinate Clauses. Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school? A: Because he/she was going to high school! Q: What is Grammar? A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit. Q: What three candies can you find in every school? A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties. Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation? A: Expla-nation. Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? A: He didn't have anybody to take. (any BODY) Q: Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A: Because it had more cents. Q: What's the difference between a dead prostitute and school? A: School still sucks! Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots. Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? A: LMAYO Q: What is a proof? A: One-half percent of alcohol. Q: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? A: To get to the same side. Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn't control her pupils? Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation. Q: How did the geography student drown? A: His grades were below C-level Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? A: He works it out with a pencil. Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9 Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A: Dam! Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiancée? A: With a polynomial ring! Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: Rubber-band -- because it streches. Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed. Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? A: Romeostasis Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? A: Because he was a paleontologist. Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3. Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin. Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? A: Mobius Dick. Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? A: Warsaw! Q: What do you call a music teacher with problems? A: a trebled man. Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes. Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? A: 2 Fast 2 Curious Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang? A: The Nucleus Q: Name a bus you can never enter? A: A syllabus Q: What did the mathematician's parrot say? A: A poly "no meal" Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? A: Because it's basic material. Q: If H20 is water what is H204? A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . . Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems! School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They're dead. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora. If school isn't a place to sleep then home isn't a place to study. I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it. That awkward moment when an emo kid goes to McDonald's and orders a Happy Meal. Hey Google, why don`t you sit next to me during my exam? If sleep is really good for the brain, then why is it not permitted in school? If you make a camp to help kids with ADHD, then is it a concentration camp? If a picture is worth a thousands words, then why shouldn't we judge a book by its cover? To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like, "It wasn't that hard." That awkward moment when you go to a new school and don't get a vampire boyfriend. 2 things you can learn in school: Texting without looking and teamwork on tests. C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping M.A.T.H. = Mental Abuse to Humans S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life S.C.H.O.O.L. = Sucks Children's Happiness Out Of Life Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg! Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Student: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Teacher: "Simon, can you say your name backwards?" Simon: "No Mis." Mom: What did you learn in school? Son: Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow. Teacher: How can we keep the school clean? Student: By staying at home. Teacher: What is irony? Student: "Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe." (1) Say "Eye" (2) Spell the word "Map" (3) Say "Ness". SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4. HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8. EXAM: Matthew has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the sun's mass. Catholic School A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes

Funny Dirty Jokes